BLESSED

Actually I didn’t really thought to put this into writing, but one day, when I’m old, sitting on my rocking chair, wondering how my youth was, well spent or done wasted. I wished to tell the future myself that the present me gratefully believed that it was blessed with love. I have my boy, my family, his family and my best friends.

Dear my future self,

(credits goes to Mimi my housemate who hantar me to the station on time) On the 7^th August of 2009, exactly at 9.13pm, I hop on a Red Konsortium with such excitement and anticipation swirling inside my belly. Haha (macam tak pnah lak kan?) Why? I’m going to pursue my heart, mi corazon, boku no kokoro desu ; which is in the form of a human called Mohd Amirul Asyraf. Why again? Woi. Dah lama tak jumpa laa. Rindu laaa. Aku pon manusia gak, skali skala kna la charge. Haha. How do I pick when should I met him? It was partly random, partly whenever his face nonchalantly fading from my ‘memory box’. Tanpa aku sedari~ sometimes I’m making up on how he looked like. Yeah. It was pathetic. We were too far apart that I started to forget how he looked alike. And that fact broke my heart. (and with this I hope no one will ever dispute me whenever I say I’m going to meet him)

That bus was freezing cold. I remembered my feet going numb n needles (kebas). N i have to constantly move my feet or it will suffered ‘Krem’. When my bus reached Pudu, Patty texted me-saying that she was in some sort of accident (a self inflicted. Hahaha) 1^st I was laughing, but when she mention “patah kuku” and “berdarah”, my laughter died. I don’t really get how someone fell in the middle of jalan tar n terseret (hoi nobby. Isn’t that what your childhood filled with? Jatuh basikal n stuff) because I’m a proud owner of a few highheels and although I fell really hard on my face because of those (stupid heels), I hardly got any scratch. At all. (tapi ada skali jatuh tgga n dapat lebam kat lutut which healed two days later. Wuu) So Patty, Be A LOT MORE careful please. Didn’t I told you before? Whatever hurt you, hurts me more.

I reached at the Shahab Eki (main bus terminal in Alor Star) at 5. Amirul come a short while later. (another reason why I LOVED this guy. He never let me wait too long) God knows how happy I was upon seeing him, my cute Amirul. (okay2, I know being lovey dovey is the creepiest thing ever but can’t help it. Haha) Every love song I have ever knew started to play inside my head (this is freakingly true! It happened whenever I met him. This time it was “Wherever You Will Go” by The Callings. Haha) He’s not exactly an eye candy, but he is sweet enough to make me smile. He smell like soap and baby oil. He had wicked and naughty looking eyes that always make me malu2 nak tgk dia. Haha. He’s not big and muscle-ly, everytime I met him, it always mesmerized me how someone who eat so much to be this small. Hahaha. But he’s the perfect guy for me, I can always look up and looked into his eyes without spraining my neck (as with most of male human species in this world. Despite having a boyfriend, I always find them Hate-able) and whenever I held onto his hand, I always got this feeling that at the particular time, I am the SAFEST person in the world. People- I’m in LOVEEE~ hahaha

Okay2. I better stop writing about him or my tears will be overflowed n dripped on my keyboard

.

Thus, our two days together were filled with series of : tv watching, main2 senyum, sembang2 sambil jaga kedai, cabut uban (haha. Pakcik umur 19 tahun ini byk uban woo), hair styling, cheek and forehead kissings, kemas dapo, main ngan kucing- Boboy and Mimi- (which led to the artistical carvings on my hands), tgk J Dorama kat my laptop, buat air nescafe tgh2 malam (but he still sleep soundly right after minum nescafe. Haha. Cafein- Immune kot), and ice creams (Mango Tango mmg sesedap dalam iklan!). It was a very simple two days, but for me, it worth everything. And during those two days, once in a while, he’ll come to me and whisper to me ~”I Love u Sayang” Then I’ll replied “ I Love u too B!” . And I thought. This is HAPPINESS. I was BLESSED.

And that time come. Baka baka baka. Time to go home. I remembered gripping the edge of his sweater, unwilling to let it go. Holding his big hand, running through his thin and long fingers. Trying to feel him as much as I can while listening to him, who was singing a sad (and weird) love song. In my head, ‘Only One’ by Yellowcard is screaming while I’m bitting my lower lips, trying my best not to cry. I hate this part of our love story- the Parting- I’ll remember all of this, his loving smile, his mother’s kindness, his father’s jokes, his sister’s laughter and his brother’s affection. I’ll remember the sad look on his face when my bus started moving, leaving Shahab Perdana. On the bus I cried shamelessly. I couldn’t care less who heard me but I must cry. The throbbing in my chest was too much to bear with. I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

I reached Shah Alam. Back to my humble abode in Seksyen 7. Empty. Oh. Everyone gone to class. Sleep. Woke up. Land Law Lecture. Home. A lil crisis with Diana. Fix it tru sms. Natata texted me and successfully create a language clashing with any human language in this planet. Haha. Finally. Laugh of the day. Natata is the best. She’s always get the wrong timing (bila aku tgh makan la, tgh tgk movie la) but She’s ALWAYS there. I LOVE U NATCHY! Refreshed again. Yosh! (amirul ska cakap Yosh! Haha) . I am BLESSED. Thank you God.

Nobby